The minute I read the word “sunrise”, chosen as today’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt, I thought of the beautiful song from Fiddler on the Roof, “Sunrise, Sunset”. As I played the original soundtrack from the movie, tears welled up in my eyes.
Is this the little girl I carried
Is this the little boy at play
I don’t remember growing older
When did they
In the weeks before my son’s birthday, I rummaged through two boxes of photos that hadn’t been pasted into albums. I selected the best ones from his baby and little boy years, adding photos from the awkward times, from basketball, piano lessons, graduation and, most recently, with his significant other. I had decided to send him some memories as a gift for his birthday. As I scanned them to create the book through an online photo lab, I studied the photo of him holding his first and only nephew. I could visualize the years ahead — perhaps children, a likely move across the country, success in his budding career.
Sunrise, sunset. Yesterday he was a goofy little guy wandering the woods and fields on our farm with a video camera in hand. “Is this the little boy at play…” Suddenly, he’s a sought-after professional, entrusted with high-dollar equipment as he helps capture images in the film industry. “I don’t remember growing older…”
We can’t halt the passage of time. We wouldn’t want to. But a mother’s heart can’t help but wish to travel back in time, perhaps to live it all over again.
Selah…finding solace after the loss of a child
While writing about my own sons, I’m thinking of a dear friend who lost her eldest son over 20 years ago in a swimming accident. DeVonna R. Allison has shared her journey through grief in a beautiful little book that offers excerpts from her journal in the months following her son’s death. Her desire in creating the book is this:
“I want parents to know that other parents and families have suffered the loss of a child and survived. I also want parents to be reminded God is with them in their trial. Faith is not the absence of doubts; faith is choosing to believe in God’s love and goodness despite our doubts, fears and sorrows.”
DeVonna is a wise and generous woman. To bare her soul and share her words is a brave act. I have not lost a child, but the deep well of faith DeVonna reached into while on her healing journey is one I’ve dipped into as I lost both my parents and cared for a son who was gravely ill. From her journal entry dated February 7, 2000:
“In my devotions today I read that the author called suffering a great honor, a sharing of Christ’s struggles in Gethsemane. It is a struggle to surrender a very natural desire and to receive peacefully the will of the Father instead. I am so glad this author and the Lord Jesus understand. The Lord suffered so that I could look and see and know that He understands giving up something cherished for something very hard. In spite of the agonies, I have and do willingly give Wesley to the Lord’s keeping, care and will. My Lord knows my sighs are not rebellion. He understands my grief perfectly and doesn’t condemn me for it. That is very precious comfort to me.”
I have two copies of DeVonna’s book to share with two readers who leave comments here.