The Secret You :: Five Minute Friday

Can you keep a secret?

I’m a bit of a loner. Most people might not suspect it, but I’d rather sit quietly in a corner with my nose in a book than work a room. Or spend a day puttering around the house, talking to the cat and doing mundane chores than heading out to the nearest mall for a girls’ shopping trip.

God wired me that way and if I ever get the Enneagram thing figured out, I’ll assign a number to it.  My son tells me I’m an INFP personality type, just like him — a mediator always looking for a hint of good in people and searching for ways to make things better. My type is “perceived as calm, reserved and shy, but with an inner flame and passion.” (

My guess is that each of us has both a public and a secret personality. You know, the face you put on when you go to church or spend time with family, and the one behind the mask that only appears when you let your guard down. Only a few people may know the secret “you” that is the most genuine version of yourself.

And that’s okay. Because I think it’s the secret personality that gets us through the hard things and the public one that makes it possible to do life with others. I can do only so much of the public “me” before the secret side of me needs to take over. Realigning my thoughts and finding good in the not-so-good only happens for me when I go to that space.

The beautiful part is that the public and secret versions of ourselves can live together and function peacefully if we acknowledge and value each part. If we’re as genuine as we can be in both public and secret spaces, we can find a rhythm that serves us well, that makes us complete.

What about you? Is there a secret space in your make-up where you feel like your truest self? Allow yourself to go there today.


I’m writing today for a quick five minutes on the word “secret” and linking up over at Five Minute Friday. Won’t you join me there?



  1. Rebekah Beene

    Love this! Social introverts some say! I so get it. Great share


      Thanks, Rebekah! I think a lot of writers are social introverts. Which is a good thing!

  2. Susie Hundley

    I so enjoy what you write. I’m not a loner but I do like time alone at times. My favorite times are with my grandchildren.


      I’m so glad you’ve found my blog, Susie. I assume we both know a cute little blonde student! I think we all need time alone, don’t we? Even if it’s just to recharge so that we can go back out into the world (and be with grandkids).

  3. Tara

    I’m an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs. As far as the Enneagram, I’m a 2 which is the helper. I’m over in the 4 spot this week.


      Tara, I can totally see the helper in you. Always giving other writers a boost!

  4. Susan Shipe

    I am a social introvert and your #22 neighbor at FMF!


      I’m with you, Susan, though much less introverted than I used to be. I thinks it’s come from finally being comfortable with myself.

  5. Misty

    I cannot figure it out either and sometimes I feel like I’m the last one! Even so- I like me. Complicated and a solid mix of both intro and extro!


      That sounds very balanced, Misty. The categories we let define us are usually not fully accurate — even when we take the tests!

  6. Cindy Wilkins

    I’m right there with you Ingrid and the older I get them more comfortable I am staying home…..maybe a little too comfortable. As a teacher for 32 years I had to be on point, entertaining….I coveted my time of quiet and introspection. I think that’s why I Love it now in retirement. Thank you for your insight and wisdom. Your words resonated with me today, Cindy #fmf


      Thank you, Cindy! Teaching for 32 years — you deserve retirement!

  7. Erica

    I feel like you just described me! Love this….thanks for sharing!


      Thanks, Erica!

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